She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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