put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Randomize