if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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