Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Randomize
