Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
