i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I am spending my child support on dildos
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
