What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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