Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
