I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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