So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Randomize
