Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
