She is in my trunk
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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