She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
