i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
