he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Randomize
