I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
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