there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Randomize
