Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
