No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
