How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
