this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
