i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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