1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
nutella sex= disaster
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
