What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
