Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
