White coat. Heels.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
