We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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