i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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