GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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