wake up i wanna do it froggy style
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Randomize
