nut hugger
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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