In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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