Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I cut my penus on the lid.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
