guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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