he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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