Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
