turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I made him laugh his dick is mine
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
