He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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