I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize