yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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