You just made me feel so damn special
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Randomize
