at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
