one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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