Whod you bang
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Randomize
