I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
