We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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