awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I am mentally ready for anal.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize