When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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