dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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