You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
