That's intense
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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