I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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