I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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