It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
