I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
