I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
