I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize