I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
