I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
