we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Randomize
