Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
