I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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