you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Randomize
