addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
