You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
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