is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Randomize
