You just made me feel so damn special
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Randomize
