i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
