I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
