youre lurking in front of me
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
