I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
