So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
