I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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