She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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