Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Randomize
