he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Randomize
