I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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