Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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