I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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