I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
