On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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