Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
